Push Through The Pain

Question from God:  “Trice, will you push past the pain to reach me?  I'm here waiting for you”.

Scripture Reference:   Matthew 9:20-22 (King James Version)

²⁰ And behold, a woman who was diseased with an issue of blood for twelve years came up behind Him and touched the hem of His garment;

²¹ for she said to herself, “If I may but touch His garment, I shall be whole.”

²² But Jesus turned about, and when He saw her, He said, “Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole.” And the woman was made whole from that hour.

Sometimes the issues and circumstances we face in life leave us empty, depleted and can put us in a place of despair and hopelessness.  At times, no matter how hard we may try to fight or resist the emotions and feelings, we find ourselves becoming more and more despondent.  It's been a long and hard season for me.  Although my faith and trust in God has increased tremendously over the past few years, I find myself at a place of waiting and trusting in the unseen promises of God; holding onto what appears at time, as a no win situation.  I recall seeing a post on Facebook this past week concerning depression and it made me pause and reflect.  I never wanted to think I could be depressed, hopeless and ready to give up, but truth be told, that describes exactly how I feel.  Depression for the most part, is a place I personally never thought I would find myself, besides, how can that be?  I’m a child of God and I’ve been committed to seeking and serving him for some time.  I love and serve God with great passion and joy.

Could it be God allowed me to experience so much hurt, sadness and pain to know that depression is real and as long as we live in this physical world, we can find ourselves experiencing natural challenges? Yet I know, with God, I don’t have to remain in this state of being.  God let me know today, I’m not alone and he's here....no matter what. This life/world will throw you all kinds of curveballs and if you don’t know who you are and to whom you belong, your odds of succeeding in this life is zero to none.  In order for God to heal, we have to be real.  While in service today, I couldn't praise.  I found myself at a place where I couldn’t give God praise or my worship.  The one thing I know I was created to do; I love to Praise the Lord…..and that scared me.  Yet, all He wanted was for me to completely empty myself of me and enter into His presence.  I just needed to touch the hem of His garment.  Today, Pastor spoke on the significance of the “rocks” in our lives.  The rocks are meant to strengthen us, not for us to move or remove.  I've been trying to remove the rocks (issues in my life) instead of allowing them to remain and be used for what God, not me, intended.  My sister in Christ, Crystal Collier-Gant, asked me today, what happened to my blog?  I said, “I just stopped writing”.  She then released a life changing word from God……”start again, and I mean today.......and you know why”.

Writing is a tool God gave me years ago to purge and release my feelings and emotions of this spiritual journey.  However, when it was no longer convenient for me to write, I stopped and God allowed it (He doesn’t force His will).  Well, three years later, here I am going back to the very first instruction given to me by the Lord.  I often think on the scripture in 1 Samuel 15:22 - Obedience is always greater than sacrifice (paraphrase).
My writing was for God's glory, but my good.  When God gives a command, “just do it” and don't stop no matter what.

  He's the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end.  He knew I'd be at this place, at this time and would need this vehicle to gain my deliverance, healing and breakthrough.  I thank you Lord that you are faithful even when we are not.  Amen